Directed by Brett Ratner
Written by Ted Griffin and Jeff Nathanson
IMDB

Ben Stiller and two of his co-workers (Casey Affleck and Michael Pena) get fired from their job in a luxury hotel when Stiller smashes up the car of a man who defrauded the workers out of their pensions.  They team up with Eddie Murphy, Matthew Broderick and a maid to rob him of the supposed $20 million he has hidden in his room.
Not a bad movie, but not very well made, either.  The editing is bizarre and some of the pieces just do not fit together.  The movie is very uneven.  Also, this movie has some truly funny parts.  It could have been much better than it was, but it was still pretty entertaining.


6/10

Directed by Samuel Fuller
Written by Samuel Fuller
IMDB

A woman’s ex-boyfriend has her running delivery on secret microfilm.  While on the subway, a pickpocket lifts the microfilm from him.  The police are on the trail because the film contains secrets and is being delivered to the dastardly communists.
I got to admit, I did not enjoy this movie as much as I expected.  Some of it was pretty corny, especially the ending, which was similar to the ending of an episode of the “Superman” TV show from the 1950s--like a wink at the camera.  The climatic fight was good, though.


6/10

Directed by Brian De Palma
Written by David Mamet
IMDB

Eliot Ness, of the National Treasury, assembles a team of police to take down Al Capone and end bootlegging in Chicago.
To start, I would like to focus on the good.  The famous baby carriage scene is the work of a master filmmaker.  It is an exceptional scene.  Sean Connery was very good as Malone.
Now for the bad.  Kevin Costner is too vanilla for me to work in this role.  The movie itself kind of mirrors the problem I have with Costner; it’s just too glossy for a crime movie, it should be gritty.  There is too much sentimentality.  Costner is worried about his family’s safety after he has a face-to-face with Capone (Robert De Niro), but we don’t have to see his family to understand that he is worried about them.  Those scenes come across very cheesy.  A lot of the scenes do, unfortunately.
It has been a while since I was this let down by a film.  This movie is not very good, besides the great baby carriage shoot out scene and the scenes “The Simpsons” have parodied, I will probably end up forgetting most of it.  Overrated and a huge disappointment.


6/10

Directed by Greg Mottola
Written by Greg Mottola
IMDB

A college kid whose parents are having money trouble gets a job working at Adventureland, a local amusement park, in order to get some money so he can attend Columbia University.  There he meets a girl who he falls in love with, but she is sleeping with a married musician.
Eh, it was an okay film.  Nothing spectacular.  It has a good cast, minus Kristen Stewart (who was actually okay here, but generally is not) and Ryan Reynolds.  It has that slick indie movie vibe like a Noah Baumbach or Wes Anderson movie.  Not my thing, really.  A little bit of melodrama and not enough comedy.


6/10

Directed by Paul Haggis
Written by Paul Haggis and Robert Moresco
IMDB

This movie is about how everybody is a racist.
This movie somehow managed to win the Best Picture Academy Award in 2006.  It is an okay movie, although very ham-fisted.  Some people love it, I guess, but it just was not for me, a non-racist person.  If you think you might be a racist, but are not quite sure, then this movie might answer that question for you.


6/10

Directed by Oliver Stone
Written by Stanley Weiserman and Oliver Stone
IMDB

Charlie Sheen plays an opportunistic and hungry young Wall Street stock broker.  He gets the attention of Michael Douglas with an insider trading tip that makes him a lot of money.  They team up and illegally make some money until Douglas double crosses him on a deal to buy out the airport where his father works.
This movie was okay.  I’m not interested in the stock market.  I don’t understand how it works and I don’t really care.  It’s basically just gambling and I don’t gamble.  I found the movie to be drenched in yuppie bullshit.  I hate yuppies.  This movie didn’t parody them like the great “American Psycho,” it somewhat glorified them in the melodramatic way that “Cocktail” glorified being a bartender.



6/10

Directed by Adam Bowers
Written by Adam Bowers
IMDB

Neurotic loser Wendell falls in and out of love with women.  Vicky, an asshole.  Joanna, an activist.
This is an amateurish, crass version of a Woody Allen movie.  That is not to say it isn’t without a certain charm.  There are some laughs and the movie held my attention throughout.  The acting is just okay.  The editing, not very good.  An okay movie that I do not regret watching.


6/10

Directed by Derek Cianfrance
Written by Derek Cianfrance, Joey Curtis and Cami Delavigne
IMDB

This film shows the beginning and end of a relationship.  Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams begin dating and get married, and then there marriage is crumbling apart.
“Blue Valentine” is an okay movie.  I found it a bit boring and it was certainly a little on the long side.  A depressing “indie” style movie.


6/10

Directed by John Madden
Written by Matthew Vaughn, Jane Goldman and Peter Straughan
IMDB

An okay spy movie.  Three spies kidnap a Nazi and attempt to bring him to justice, but a security guard throws a wrench into their plan by missing the train they were to put him on.  When he escapes, they are forced to lie about it for the rest of their lives.
A little slowly paced and plodding, but the climax is okay and some of the middle is pretty good.  I wish I would have watched the film this is a remake of than watching this.  Jessica Chastain was pretty good, at least.


6/10

Directed by Jon Favreau
Written by Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman, Damon Lindelof, Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby
IMDB

Aliens attack the old west.  A cowboy with amnesia and an alien weapon attached to his wrist leads a group of cowboys into battle against the aliens.
This movie was basically what I expected.  Nothing amazing, but a fun and stupid blockbuster action movie.  The special effects were good and they were used in an interesting way to set the tone of the film/color the background.  A total popcorn movie.

6/10

Directed by Jonathan Liebesman
Written by Christopher Bertolini
IMDB

This was not as completely awful as I was expecting.  I only watched it because my wife was at work and and I knew she didn’t want to see it, so I rented it from the Redbox (for free).
Aliens attack LA.  The military fights them.  Guns are fired nearly every second of this movie after the initial 20 minute opening.
The special effects are really good.  The performances are fine, although that doesn’t really matter in a movie like this.  This movie is about shit exploding and aliens being shot.  It works, although it is no “District 9.”
Maybe I feel a little bad about giving this a positive review after giving "Captain America" a negative review.  I watched "Captain America" with Rifftrax, which usually makes movies a lot worse.  And I was expecting it to be good, I was expecting this to be stupid, and it was.


6/10

Directed by Paul Wendkos
Written by Gabrielle Upton
IMDB

Francie Lawrence is an underdeveloped 17 year old girl on summer vacation.  Her friends ditch her to hook up with boys.  She decides to take up surfing and falls for one of the boys.  They nickname her "Gidget," which is a mixture of "girl" and "midget."
I enjoy the TV show "Gidget," starring Sally Field, much more than I enjoyed this movie.  I would guess that '59 was at the very beginning of the surfer fad.  A lot of the lingo doesn't seem to be there yet.  Several years later, during the TV show, the slang is fast and loose.  Sandra Dee, who is pretty good in this, claims everything is "the ultimate."
An okay movie.  Wouldn't watch again.

6/10

Directed by Gore Verbinski
Written by John Logan
IMDB

A pet lizard falls off a truck while in the desert.  He acts tough to the townspeople (various animals) and becomes their sheriff.  Now he must have figure out why there's no water.  Plus, western gunfights.
Eh, I was really let down by this movie overall.  It looks amazing.  Maybe one of the best looking cartoons I've seen.  Sadly, the story and its humor didn't live up to my expectations.  Unlike "Kung Fu Panda," it didn't play off of the tropes.  It was entertaining and not as bad as "Bolt," but it wasn't too much better.

6/10

Directed by Byron Howard and Chris Williams
Written by Byron Howard and Chris Williams
IMDB

There's a TV show called "Bolt" about a dog with super powers saving his owner, Penny, every week.  They make sure the dog doesn't know it is a TV show.  Yeah, it is very stupid.  The dog accidentally gets shipped to New York from L.A.  Now he must find his way back to L.A. with the help of a cat named Mittens.
This movie sucked.  I was cool with it being a movie about a dog with super powers, but once it was revealed that it was a TV show and became an animated rehash of "Milo & Otis" I completely checked out.  I had to watch this movie in three chunks.  It wasn't completely miserable to watch, but it lacked the charm of much of my favorite animated movies.  This movie is strictly for children, and probably girl children at that.

6/10

Directed by William Dear
Written by  Darren Star
IMDB

A high school student is missing a foreign language credit and does not graduate.  He must make up the credit in summer school, the caveat being the French teacher is taking the French club to France.  He joins them, but is mistaken for a CIA agent with the same name.  Mind you, not the same looks, just the same name.  Who knows why the movie is titled so.
A silly, stupid and somewhat fun romp.  Richard Grieco is okay as the lead.  He is clearly about 25 in this role as an 18 year old, but that's fine.  It's pure early 90s goofiness.
This is nothing more than a James Bond spoof with a silly plot.  It has some moments and laughs--though they're pretty embarrassing.  I would not recommend watching this, but I made my wife watch it with me anyway.  I had seen this film a few times when I was a kid.  I found it enjoyable enough back then and still do.

6/10

Directed by Renny Harlin
Written by Brian Helgeland, Jim Wheat and Ken Wheat
IMDB

Freddy is back to take out the remaining Dream Warriors from the previous films.  The girl who was played by Patricia Arquette but is now played by Tuesday Knight (awesome name) passes on her ability to pull people into her dreams to her good friend Alice.  Alice must take on Freddy Krueger.
At this point, this is the worst of the A Nightmare on Elm Street series.  It is not that bad, though.  It just seems kind of watered down.  There's no real scares and the blood is kept to a minimum.  Freddy has a few good one-liners, though.
I probably will not be watching this a second time.

6/10

Directed by Spencer Susser
Written by Spencer Susser and David Michôd
IMDB

A young boy who has just lost his mom in a car accident and whose dad is addicted to pills (prescribed ones, assumedly for depression) finds his life flipped upside-down when a metalhead named Hesher forcibly moves into his home.
This is one of those fake indie movies with a-list celebrities that seem to come out constantly.  Natalie Portman, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Rainn Wilson all star.
The film itself is fine.  It is played for emotion when it should be played for laughs.  It has the muted tone that all of these stupid idiosyncratic art flicks seem to relish.  I would never, ever watch this movie again.  If somebody suggested watching it, I would act like I hated it and would leave if it was put on.  It wasn't bad, but it sure wasn't good.
I did not choose this film.  My pal Beth got it from Netflix.  She's the last person who still receives DVDs.  She supposedly meant to cancel, although that is hard to believe as I reminded her before the deadline was up and I think Netflix even sent out an email.  Oh well, she loves these fake indie movies with a-list stars.  I don't.  Not my thing.

6/10

Directed by James Signorelli
Written by Rodney Dangerfield, Michael Endler, P.J. O'Rourke and Dennis Blair
IMDB

 Rodney Dangerfield's daughter is getting married to a Mexican, who he dislikes.  His rich mother-in-law comes for the wedding and they butt heads.  Rodney drinks, gambles and smokes weed.  Then, eventually, his mother-in-law fakes her own death to test Rodney and her assistant.  Rodney must eat better and quit his bad habits in order to inherit her fortune.
There are some pretty funny moments in this flick and some pretty contrived and stupid moments.  Rodney's best friends is played by Joe Pesci, which is good.  My main issue comes with how late the main plot device kicks in.  It's pretty much in the third act.  Much of the movie is spent on Dangerfield insulting people, which is what you want.  So there is some to like and some to dislike in this film.  Not the worst way to waste 95 minutes, but there are much better ways, like smoking angel dust or getting a haircut.

6/10

Directed by Jason Eisener
Written by John Davies
IMDB

The city is ruled by a couple thugs and their father.  The city is a mess.  A hobo grabs a shotgun, teams up with a hooker and decides to fight back.
This is Troma and Japanese influenced gross out violence.  The gore is ample and disgusting.  The color/cinematography is actually really good for a low budget film.  The acting is also pretty good.
My biggest problem with this movie is that it never lets up.  A comedy doesn't need to let up, but a gross out horror movie does.  There needs to be a couple minutes where somebody doesn't get raped or murdered.  Also, this movie focuses a little too much on making the villains evil instead of showing the hobo taking revenge.
This film is not necessarily as bad as you would think.  It depends on who you are whether you can get any enjoyment out of it.  My dad, for instance, probably would not.  I barely did.  It was a little better than mediocre.  I was hoping for another "Machine Girl" and I got closer to another "Tokyo Gore Police," but a little less crazy than that.  Eh, pass on this one.

6/10

Directed by Tom Dey
Written by Tim Rasmussen and Vince Di Meglio
IMDB

Marmaduke is very loosely based on the popular comic strip that we all know and hate. The story: the patriarch, Phil, of the family takes a job in Orange County. He moves his family (his wife, one young boy and one teen girl) and their pets (Marmaduke, a large dog, and their cat) from Kansas. While Phil has trouble with his job and new boss, Marmaduke has trouble fitting in with many of the snooty dogs in the O.C. He befriends a mangy group of misfits, only to turn his back on them when he wins a SURFING COMPETITION!
Most children movies suffer from pacing that plods. Many animated features overcome this and that is partially why they are so wildly popular. Marmaduke succeeds at never becoming boring. It is magnificently stupid, sure. Yet, I still had fun watching it both of the times I saw it in its entirity--the second time we made a drinking game out of it where you had to drink every time you laughed and everybody was very drunk.
Is it worth your time? Eh, probably not unless you're in the mood for something joyously stupid. If so, this movie is perfect.

6/10 (on a real scale, even. It was entertaining, even if it was awful.)