Directed by Jon Favreau
Written by Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman, Damon Lindelof, Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby
IMDB

Aliens attack the old west.  A cowboy with amnesia and an alien weapon attached to his wrist leads a group of cowboys into battle against the aliens.
This movie was basically what I expected.  Nothing amazing, but a fun and stupid blockbuster action movie.  The special effects were good and they were used in an interesting way to set the tone of the film/color the background.  A total popcorn movie.

6/10

Directed by Tonino Valerii
Written by Ernesto Gastaldi
IMDB

This is a parody of the western genre.  Nobody is faster than Jack Beauregard.  A man named Nobody, that is.  While it might seem like a one joke premise, and in ways it is, it really is more of a regular western movie with some levity.
Nobody is bent on making Beauregard into a hero and he wants him to stand alone against the 150 member of the Wild Bunch.  He does everything in his power to make it happen.  There is a little bit of time in the middle where the film meanders a tab, but it is at least to build up how good of a shot Nobody is.
I used to watch this film as a child.  The scene where Nobody holds a gun to the balls of a guy who is giving him a shave was one of my favorites.  Henry Fonda is great as the aging hero of the west.  Terrence Hill is good, although it seems like he mainly got the part because he sort of looks like Clint Eastwood.  Great soundtrack.  Worth a watch.

7/10

Directed by Ethan Coen and Joel Coen
Written by Ethan Coen and Joel Coen
IMDB

A 14 year old girl seeks the help of the tracker Rooster Cogburn in order to bring her father's killer to justice. She forces him to allow her to accompany him on the mission.
A pretty solid flick. I obviously enjoy the Coen brothers (obvious if you read this blog, which you don't and probably aren't reading right now). In a way, this movie reminded me of The Goonies. It features a child on an adventure and is fun, although this has a more serious edge to it and is a bit more violent.
I was actually somewhat surprised to see the level of gore in this movie given its PG-13 rating. After seeing Die Hard 4, I was under the impression that a movie cannot have blood in it and be PG-13. This movie even featured people smoking! Come on MPAA.

7/10

Directed by Howard Hawkes
Written by Jules Furthman and Leigh Brackett
IMDB

John Wayne is the sherriff of a old west town. When he arrests a man for murder, he has to contend with the hired guns of his well-off brother. Wayne is joined by Dean Martin (Dude, a Mexican), Walter Brennan (the cripled Stumpy) and Ricky Nelson (Colorado). Wayne also finds time to fall in love with Angie Dickenson.
A long, but very excellent Western. I don't know if I would go as far as to call it a "shoot 'em up," but it does have a lot of shooting in it.
Apparently, Wayne and Hawkes made this film as an answer to "High Noon," according to the featured review on IMDB. Instead of the sherriff going around and begging for help, he is just good enough to face the bad guys on his own. Although, that is mostly what ends up happening in "High Noon," and that movie is more about being desserted when you're in need than it is being weak. Either way, both are great films.
If you're looking for a more deliberate paced movie (or a western) with more of a focus on character development than shooting, this is good. I wasn't necessarily looking for that, but still dug it. I didn't mind Dean Martin or Ricky Nelson at all. I thought they were both pretty good, but I'm not 100 years old so I don't remember Ricky Neslon being on Ozzie and Harriet.

9/10

Directed by Fred Zinneman
Written by Carl Foreman
IMDB

The marshal of a small town, Kent (Gary Cooper), returns to town the same day he left, his wedding day, in order to face an old enemy returning on the 12 o'clock train. His wife (Grace Kelly) is a quaker, and therefore a pacifist. As Kent goes around town trying to round-up a posse, he finds that the town has turned his back on him.
As the clock approaches noon and the towns folk continue to turn their back on Kent, I found myself half hoping that Kent is killed, just so the people in town would be fucked over. They would have been overrun by the criminals. The other half hoped for Kent to take out the four criminals. This is partially why this film is so great. It really engrosses you in the drama of the situation and the constant showing of the clock ticking adds some real suspense.
Gary Cooper is excellent as the marshal everybody has turned their back on and Grace Kelly is fantastic and very beautiful as his very young bride. Lloyd Bridges plays the deputy who acts like a baby because Kent comes back to town after leaving. His character is infuriating. A very great movie with a wonderful cast. Watch it.

9.5/10

Directed by George Marshall
Written by Felix Jackson, Gertrude Purcell and Henry Myers
IMDB

The town of Bottleneck makes the town drunk the sherriff after the sherriff is shot by tavern owner Kent trying to enforce the law. As the town laughs at the town drunk, he sends for Destry, the son of his old sherriff back when he was deputy. Problem is, Destry does not use guns and becomes a laughingstock. He tries to clean up the town and take it back from Kent and Frenchy.
A very good comedy western. James Stewart is great. Well worth a watch if you're up for a western.

7/10

Directed by Michael D. Moore
Written by Robert E. Kent
IMDB

A confederate spy with a guitar gun (Roy Orbison) sets out to steal some union gold to help the South gain some funding in the Civil War.
This is a pretty bland version of an Elvis movie. Elvis movies are usually fun and filled with good songs. This film is fairly boring and many of the songs are racist (toward Native Americans). Plus the guitar gun was done much more effectively and awesomely in Desperado. Watch that instead.

3.5/10

Directed by Robert D. Webb
Written by Robert Buckner
IMDB

Vance was a Confederate soldier everybody thought was dead. At the tail end of the war, he and some other soldier rob a train disguised as Union soldiers. When Vance returns, he finds that his fiance has married his brother, Clint (Elvis Presley). Vance tries to return the money, with some opposition from his fellow robbers.
I found this movie to be excruciatingly mediocre. At some point in the middle I started only paying half attention and went on the internet.

4.5/10

Directed by Jim O'Connolly
Written by William Bast
IMDB

I went into this movie knowing but one thing about it: cowboys fight dinosaurs. This movie did deliver on that promise, but only to a degree.
It begins with a Mexican horse show, which involves a (stop motion) horse taking a dive into a flaming pool. TJ, the woman who owns the show, has a blast from the past as her former boyfriend and conman, Tuck, comes back into her life. He wants to help make a deal that will sell her biggest attraction, the horse that dives.
TJ is reluctant at first, but eventually agrees because she has an even bigger attraction, so to speak. She has an extremely tiny horse. When Tuck sees this, dollar signs light up in his eyes.
A blind gypsy woman finds out that they have the horse, which comes from the titular cursed valley. She warns them to let it go, and when they won't, her son/friend lets it loose. Tuck follows them.
Some of TJ's workers lie to her and tell her Tuck stole the horse, and they band together and follow him. When they run into each other Tuck has captured the horse. TJ tells him to let it go, which he does, allowing the horse to run into Gwangi.
After explaining that he didn't steal the horse, but was rather trying to get it back for TJ, Tuck and the gang enter the Valley of Gwangi. They very quickly realize that they shouldn't be there when they see dinosaurs. They shoot it out with the dinos to no avail. Eventually they escape the valley, being chased by a T-Rex. As they exit the valley, the T-Rex is knocked out by some falling rocks.
They capture the T-Rex, making him the newest attraction of TJ's show. Again the gypsy guy sabotages the show, letting the T-Rex loose and causing mass panic.
I enjoyed this movie. It's not exactly what I had hoped for, but it had a pretty intriguing plot that was helped along by Ray Harryhausen's excellent stop-motion dinosaurs. There were a couple of nice giant monster fights between dinos and one between the T-Rex and an elephant.
The opening moved along a little slowly, but possibly because I wanted to see cowboys and dinosaurs fighting pretty badly. The rocky relationship of TJ and Tuck is pretty interesting, especially the turn it takes at the end. Definitely worth a watch for the old school special effects, if nothing else.

7/10

Directed by Michael Curtiz
Written by James Edward Grant and Clair Huffaker
IMDB

John Wayne plays a marshal who takes a man who won a duel against the son of a judge. The man runs and through a series of events Wayne recaptures him and teams up with him to take out some "savage Indians."
This is a good old Western. Not quite the grittiness of a spaghetti Western, but not that far removed either. This is the first John Wayne movie I have ever seen, so I have no comparison in terms of his movies. I can say this, though: the scene where Wayne gets drunk with Lee Marvin is great.

8/10

Directed by Ted Post
Written by Leonard Freeman and Mel Goldberg
Trailer
IMDB

Clint Eastwood is a man who has been swindled buying cattle by a murderer. Eastwood is mistaken for the killer by a lynch mob. They hang him and leave him to die. The police soon pass by and cut Eastwood down. He goes to jail, but is soon found innocent. He then becomes a federal marshal with the sole purpose of exacting revenge on those who hung him.
This is a really good, fairly quick moving Western. Eastwood is always great, and this is no exception. Similarly to High Plains Drifter (my favorite Western), Eastwood plays a man seemingly back from the dead, hell bent on revenge. I like that theme a lot, I guess.

8.5/10

Directed by Jonathan Kaplan
Written by Ken Friedman and Yolande Turner
Trailer
IMDB

Four ex-prostitutes rob a bank. They set out to go claim some land in Oregon, but run into many obstacles.
This movie is pretty weak. It is tolerable due to it starring four pretty women, but that's no reason to continue to watch a movie (or watch one in the first place). I went into this movie thinking I was watching the Quick and the Dead. I didn't realize that until right now.
I saw this on Netflix and streamed it. I like westerns, I like attractive women. This is not like Reese's peanut butter cups. This movie left a bad taste in my mouth. The directing is pretty poor. Sometimes the screen has soft focus, and the scenery isn't gritty enough for a western. It's just too slick and the color pops too much.
The action sequences were few and far between. The climax of the movie is a gun fight, of course, but it just didn't work for me. I gave this movie a shot, on accident.

4/10

Directed by Don Siegel
Written by Calir Huffaker and Nunnally Johnson
Trailer
IMDB

Elvis plays Pacer, a half white, half Native American (or injun, as they say in this movie repeatedly). Pacer's father and mother are murdered and he's forced to choose sides. He chooses the Native American side and his brother, Clint, chooses the white side.
Pretty good western that is loaded with racism. It's funny to see Elvis play half Native American. His range is limited to playing Elvis, but it works. Elvis is cool and this movie is pretty good.

7/10

Directed by Clint Eastwood
Written by Phillip Kaufman and Sonia Chernus
Trailer
IMDB

Josey Wales' family is murdered so he joins up with a gang of rebel guerrillas and is looking for revenge.
I didn't pay as much attention to this movie as I'd have liked. All I really remember is Clint shooting motherfuckers very quickly. I liked what I saw. I'm going to give it a 7.5, but I'm going to rewatch it at some point and probably rate it higher.

7.5/10

Directed by Ed Harris
Written by Robert Knott and Ed Harris
Trailer
IMDB

Virgil Cole and Everett Hitch are hired to police the small town of Appalossa. Virgil falls in love with a woman named Allison French. Allison is, what we'd call in modern times, an open-legged slut. Randall Bragg kills three lawmen, so Virgil and Everett go to capture him.
Awesome modern western. I love the way these modern day westerns look. There's a dustyness that is missing in the old school ones. Not that it makes that much of a difference to me. I'll never stop loving High Plains Drifter. Well made and acted. Good movie.

8.5/10

Directed by Sam Peckinpah
Written by John Crawford, Edmund Penney and Gordon T. Dawson
Trailer
IMDB

This movie was built up quite a bit, so I was expecting more. Keep that in mind, readers.
Cable Hogue is a man who is left for dead when his partners turn on him, take his water and his horse. He wanders the desert in search of water.
He finds water, and sets up an oasis. He meets a preacher, who watches the land when he goes to claim it. Now Cable waits for his partners to turn up in order to get revenge.
Okay, so I had to watch this movie in three installments. Perhaps that hurt it a little. Overall, I found it somewhat likable, yet overly long and filled with songs that I could have done without. This movie will definitely have its fans, but I'm not one of them. It's above average at least and very well directed.

6/10

Directed by John Sturges
Written by Elmore Leonard
IMDB

Joe Kidd is sitting in jail. He goes to trial and Mexican freedom fighters disrupt his trial and Kidd decides he'd rather spend 10 days in jail than $10 on bail. He is bailed out by a group of hunters who are looking for the Mexicans and want Kidd to lead them.
This was a great western, which is becoming one of my favorite genres. Clint Eastwood is so badass. If only Joe Kidd could have been faced with a supernatural force in a sequel. I would have loved that, but fantasy aside, this is a fantastic movie and highly recommended.
Great action and a great, rapidly-paced story set this aside from a lot of westerns, which are usually around two hours. This flick clocks in at under 90 minutes. It's almost shocking when it ends. I was happy. I like when movies don't stew around for 130 minutes just because they feel like they have to. I will be buying this movie.

9.5/10

Directed by Don Siegel
Written by Albert Maltz
Trailer
IMDB

Hogan (Clint Eastwood) saves Sara (Shirley MacLaine) from being raped by a few men. He joins her on her quest to kill some French soldiers (or something along those lines). They take turns saving each other, while Eastwood learns that there might be more to Sister Sara than he first thought.
Really good movie. My description does not do it justice. It's a piece of shit write up really, but I don't want to give too much away. Eastwood and MacLaine are two of my favorites. The action scene at the end is great.

9/10

Directed by Glasgow Phillips
Written by Glasgow Phillips
Trailer
IMDB

Elmer (James Denton) and Luke (Chris Kattan) get arrested after fighting over a prostitute. Their cell is next to a zombie's (Brian Posehn). When the sheriff (Matt Besser of Upright Citizen's Brigade) comes back he finds that Elmer and Luke have escaped. They put the deputy in the cell next to the zombie and the deputy gets bitten.
Elmer and Luke are on the run. They come across a beautiful Native American woman named Sue. They flee from the zombies and the sheriff's posse (which are one in the same, really).
This movie describes itself as a zomedy. I think that's a stupid word, but it's descriptively correct, I suppose. Kattan is actually pretty funny. I generally think the guy sucks. Besser is always hilarious in my opinion. There is a bit of gore, so if you can't handle that stay away. If you can handle the gore and are looking for a laugh, then you might want to check out this well directed flick.

8.5/10

Directed by Anthony Mann
Written by Sam Rolfe and Harold Jack Bloom
Trailer
IMDB

James Stewart stars as a bounty hunter, looking for an outlaw so he can buy his ranch back. He teams up with a couple of strangers, who want a cut of the $5000 bounty. The criminal, a murderer, is trying to pit the other men against each other.
I'm a fan of westerns, I guess. This was a really good one. Stewart is obviously a great actor. The clothing isn't on the level of the spaghetti westerns, but it's not full on gay like the cowboy uniforms seen in earlier westerns, especially those made for children.
The plot is pretty interesting, with the murderer trying to get the three men to turn on each other. He uses his girlfriend, played by Janet Leigh, to drive a wedge between the men.

8/10